Five unexpected joys 2020 delivered, amidst all the shite

There is nothing about Coronavirus that has been kind. It has taken lives in an awfully cruel and painful way, it has stolen jobs, careers, dreams and increased poverty across the world. The economy has been beaten up, our freedoms have been curtailed and Zoom screens have replaced a kiss and a cuddle from loved ones. And entering 2021, a virus that many people mocked at the start (myself included), shows no sign of waning.

One way or the other, we have all taken a hit in 2020. But before leaving this tumultuous year behind us, I wanted to reflect on five positive things this bizarre old year has brought to my life.

1. Freedom from the commute

The daily commute was something I often slagged off, and much like things I regularly slag off — such as Amazon or my parents — I thought this meant that deep down I probably rather liked it. I mean us Londoners need to stay busy, moving, cool and hip, right? But it turns out, really and truly, that I do not like the commute. Ten months into my subway sobriety, I can declare that daily torture is not a ritual I want to go back into, and thus, I am not the sadomasochist I thought I was (which is a bit of a disappointment).

My mental health has been better over the last year, and I strongly believe this is because I now put all this saved time into something more useful and helpful to me — sleep. While there are many people who want to go back into the workplace (and I get that), I do not know a single person who would like to return to five days a week. Lockdown has freed us from our commuter-chains, sawed us out of these unnecessary shackles and given us back the energy which was sapped so readily from us before we even sat down to work.

2. The secret joy of facemasks

Facemasks are largely a nuisance. I could just about manage it when we needed to remember three things before leaving the house (keys, wallet, phone) but this fourth item has pushed me to my very limit. It is extra annoying to go back home for a facemask, because you don’t want to be putting the stuffy and suffocating thing on in the first place. But… there is a bonus to facemasks. When I used to commute, I would try to hold back a fart when I knew one was brewing. On public transport, and even on the mean streets of London, it seemed like the courteous thing to do. Now, when I feel a fart rearing its head, I do a quick cursory glance to check people have their anti-fart device on — and let rip. I mean you can’t possibly smell a fart through a facemask can you?

I don’t know what the science says, but I expect a facemask seriously reduces the chance of smelling your neighbours farts. So, yes, wearing a facemask is annoying, but how bloody liberating is it to fart in public again? (not sure why I put again on the end of this sentence, it just felt right.)

3. No need to keep up with those f****** Joneses

Other people can be draining. That’s something that being in lockdown has taught me. Sometimes people boost my spirits, but very often continual socialising leaves me mentally washed out. I think it’s largely down to how much bullshit we all talk. Unless we are with our closest confidants, generally the accepted thing to do in life is say you are okay (even when you aren’t) or pretend everything is great (especially on social media, where pictures perpetuate the lies your eyes cannot hide). By being at home so much, I don’t need to live in this ridiculous charade any more.

Not only do we not need to keep up appearances at work and socially, but Covid has granted us the permission to be unapologetically miserable (which is what we felt all along anyway). Even if you were miserable in 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 — you’ve hit the jackpot in 2020, because now you fit right in. Everyone is miserable. Even the fake happy people are miserable, because it is in vogue to be so. There has never been less pressure on us to be okay, and we must relish this for as long as it lasts.

4. You steal from me, I read a book: (not sure this heading works)

What a queer little world we live in. So much of my entertainment and freedom has been taken away over the last year, but instead of feeling angry, I feel full. How quaint! How twee! How Zen of me? While not being able to see close friends and family undoubtedly sucks, many of the restrictions put in place have just served to highlight the things I still do have. The ability to eat food suddenly seems like the most luxurious of prospects, as does the daily walk, as does the fact we have things like Zoom to communicate. There are still so many things left to enjoy: TV, books, music, gaming, chatting to flatmates, ordering on Amazon (I hate Amazon), letter writing, phone calls (yes you can still call someone from your phone), yoga, working, sleeping, masturbating — we are rich beyond our wildest dreams!!

I don’t know if it is just me, but the simple things have stolen the limelight in 2020. I have managed a couple of trips this year, so have reduced feelings of stir-crazyness, but it is still the case that as soon as the first lockdown hit, I started getting a feeling of comfort from many of the things I’d previously taken for granted. And this gratitude has stuck. I have often wanted to feel more grateful, and I have praticed gratitude, but 2020 has rammed it down my throat. If we are amongst the healthy and well-fed, that’s already a solid start to practice gratitude. And while I by no means believe gratitude can eradicate mental health issues, it can be a particularly powerful tool for many of us. (just don’t be too grateful, or it may kill you…)

5. Tis the season to be focused

I did something in 2020 which I thought I would never do — I set up a business. This really isn’t my style, mainly because my comedic essence dictates that I laugh at everything and hide when things become too serious. And what, pray tell, is more serious than business?

However, the time I had between being made redundant and starting to freelance, provided me with space to think about what I really cared about. It turns out that it is less about wanting to be an independent rockstar writer, and more about collaboration and working with others on projects. This urge to unite, alongside an ongoing frustration about the representation of women on screen (particularly in comedy), made me launch a script service which focuses on the development of female characters and storylines. It is a niche service and one I believe will help many male writers, and maybe even females. As a feminist, as a writer, as someone who thinks art can influence people’s behaviour and attitude towards women, I have never felt so strongly and truthfully aligned to one of my projects.

So other than using this point to promote my new business (www.joannatilley.com — check it out boys and gals!), what I am saying is that sometimes we need a bit of time, space and reflection to work out what really matters to us — without the added hassle of ‘having a life’. Yes, by all means follow your passions, but don’t assume you need to do it alone. And if it has all turned into a slog, perhaps stop and ask yourself: why are you still doing it?

But, as for everything else 2020, you totally suck ass.

Happy New Year! X